When people mistreat you, it is effortless to hold a grudge. Maybe you don't understand how it is possible to forgive someone for an offense, especially if the offense was particularly hurtful. Perhaps you think that forgiveness is about the other person and that they somehow benefit from your forgiving them. Forgiveness is not about the other person; it is about you.
Forgiving another person does not always mean that they stay in your life. Sometimes you do not even let them know that you forgive them. You don't have to trust them again. Just forgive them for getting rid of the negativity in your life.
You can even forgive terrible crimes. For security reasons, you may want to forgive them indirectly rather than directly. Write a letter as if you intend to send it to the other person. Talk about how you felt as a result of what they did and how it made you think about yourself. Write about how you no longer leave them any room in your head and how you forgive them for what they did to you.
When you have finished writing, seal the letter in an envelope and write their name on the front. Then either throw it away (destroy it first!) or burn the letter. This exercise should help you to overcome the negativity and the chains that hold you back as a person.
If you find that you cannot forgive alone, you may want to talk to a professional. Therapy can help you overcome this hurdle, especially if the person has committed a serious crime. If you have been abused, especially over a long period, you may need therapy to help you overcome what has been done to you. There is nothing wrong with seeking help.
Once you have forgiven the other person, you will feel as if a burden has been lifted or chains have been removed. Resentment is not healthy for you, and it does not affect the other person. If you eat negative feelings into yourself, you can increase your risk of heart disease and other health problems. You also tend to age faster. Not forgiving others can cloud your whole outlook on life, so why should you do all this to yourself?
Remember that forgiveness is not about the other person, but about removing the negativity in your own life. So free yourself today by forgiving others for the wrong they did to you.